Wednesday, July 2, 2008

A few thoughts

Although I understand the Things that Wouldn't Matter Anymore if you got some disease, I have a hard time understanding the push for Vicki to give up her lists. This is who she is, what makes her the mother that cooks meals from scratch and takes her kids to the park. When you're terminally sick, you want to cling to those things that make you who you are. Not give them up. Although MS is no way cancer, I know the first thing I wanted to do when first diagnosed was control the things I could control. I think Vicki giving up this part of her makes the disease win a little and takes more of her than it should. Yeah, have a pity party and recognize that life is beautiful and can suck, but also do what you do that helps you get through your life and love it.

The other thing I'm loving about this book is the role as a caregiver. It's something I wrote about in college, and something I think more places should (and are starting to) examine. The caregiver role can be really draining because you still have to go on with your life. We see this when Brenda is thinking about her screenplay, but oh, wait, Vicki has cancer. Although it gives her a measuring stick for how important things are in life, she still has to keep doing the things that make her who she is and she has to keep thinking about her future. And how does she feel about this cancer? This cancer that could take away the sister that defines who Brenda is. We know Brenda defines herself based on Vicki-measuring-stick. I know I define my life and who I am by the people who influence it.

Final thought: Peter is a dill weed. Leave him Melanie!

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